Arrrr, you haven’t heard that today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day? The notorious Captain Jack Spareribs paid the Blurberati a surprise visit today, bearing booty (not that kind). Jack plundered far and wide to bring our own Alysha (pictured here) her very own Treasure Island built entirely in Legos, and another valuable piece of San Francisco real estate (i.e. dirt in a jar). Out came the talking Jack Sparrow action figure, and in a weirdly meta movie moment, the real piratical doppelganger challenged the animatronic one to a duel. (No matter who wins, I’m betting on another sequel.)
As pirates do, Captain Jack gamely dared us to return insults like “Walk the plank, ye son of a biscuit eater!” and showed us up as a load of lily-livered landlubbers. Oh go on, scoff if you must, but how many snappy comebacks do you know in piratespeak without sneaking a peek at 826 Valencia’s Pirate Store site? Well then. ‘Tis terrible but true, this office is in sore need of a pirate thesaurus. If any of you blunderbuss-bearing Blurbarians care to oblige, aye, we editorial wenches might be callin yer book the Book of the Week.