Bookmarks: Nice, Nefarious, Neurotic

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With all the fancy swag and great handbags at BlogHer last weekend, who knew that Blurb’s nice new bookmark would be such a hit? Germans and British royalty, for starters – historically, they’re avid bookmark collectors. I’m particularly fond of this German one advertising girdles with no attempt at sex appeal whatsoever, and this classic featuring 1940s heartthrob Perry Como from the 700+ bookmark collection of Lauren Roberts (now there’s a Blurb portfolio book waiting to happen!)

Under Como’s unnaturally rosy-cheeked mug is a calendar and these words from his cigarette company sponsor:

This is Perry Como giving you this Bookmark and Calendar reminding you of these ABCs:
Always Buy Chesterfield … they satisfy.

Talk about a mixed message … apparently you’d better take that smoke break now, because your days are numbered. And if you can’t recall your ABCs, hello, what use is a bookmark? Perhaps kids should be stubbing out that cig, and getting back to kindergarten?

Rivaling Chesterfield for title of Most Nefarious Bookmark is this one by British art prankster Carinna Parraman printed with Lorem Ipsum Latin dummy text used for design mock-ups – except that the ink intentionally rubs off to leave “textual deposits” on your book. (Librarians everywhere are cringing right now.) Maybe it’s time to bring back this neurotic Victorian bookmark, which reads:

Please don’t handle me with dirty hands. I should feel ashamed to be seen when the next little boy borrowed me.
…Or open me and lay me face down on the table. You wouldn’t like to be treated so.
… Or put between my leaves a pencil or anything thicker than a single sheet of thin paper. It would strain my back.

… or maybe not. Open me and lay me face down on the table? So Jack the Ripper. Give me an old filmstrip or film negative to use as a bookmark instead – or, come to think of it, a Blurb bookmark, free with your book order (hint, hint).

Got any brilliant bookmark ideas? Do tell.

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